Awhile ago I spent way too much time reading a thread on the always excellent Marginal Revolution blog discussing possible tactics for dealing with sudden and unwelcome time-travel to 1000 A.D. Clearly the thread needed to be put to music. (OK, it was clear to me at least.) That was so much fun that I thought it might be fun to do it again. And Tyler over at Marginal Revolution was nice enough to participate for another round.

Then Tyler announced the topic - “Are Books Overwritten?” Ruh ro.

Clearly the thought of writing another song to a blog post should have been squashed before it saw the light of day. I honestly had no idea how to write a song to that topic. After a bunch of thinking, the only path that revealed itself was a song written from the perspective of a (grumpy) chapter in a (very long) book going through the editing process. Needless to say, the chapter doesn’t think much of the editor. Hopefully the folks that participated in the thread will feel like the song does the topic justice.

Dear Editor

[Lyrics]

It seemed time for an uncomplicated pop song (not that any of my songs are super complex in the first place). But in this nice little package you get everything you’re looking for in a standard radio friendly pop song (does anyone listen to the radio anymore?):

• boy and girl meet, wrong thing feels right, turns out to be right thing after all (Standard Love Song Theme #237)
• under three minutes
• easy to remember repeating chorus lyric that’s also the title of the song
• chorus goes up a whole step for the big finish
• doubled guitar goes up a third in final chorus

Let me tell you people… you can’t ask for more from a pop song. We’ve spared no expense. And this baby comes with the undercoating for free! Take her for a test drive.

Days Like This

Lyrics

A few months ago I decided I wanted to try and do a cover. Based on the result, it was clearly a bad idea. I probably should have been discouraged but instead, after months of therapy, I decided to try again. The victim this time was one of my favorite artists - Jonathan Coulton and his excellent song SkyMall. The first few moments of the original have a very sweet quality. For this version I decided to try and extend that quality to the entire song by encasing it in a thick layer of vanilla frosting. Hopefully the result is something you’ll enjoy.

Thanks to Steve, Kira, and Debbie for a patient ear while reviewing the many iterations.

P.S. I wonder if you can find the easter egg in the song. Nobody’s noticed so far.

Skymall

[LYRICS]

Recently I lost an hour reading a comment thread that started as follows:

“I wanted to ask for survival tips in case I am unexpectedly transported to a random location in Europe (say for instance current France/Benelux/Germany) in the year 1000 AD (plus or minus 200 years). I assume that such transportation would leave me with what I am wearing, what I know, and nothing else. Any advice would help.”

The suggestions ranged from funny to serious, and ludicrous to ludicrouser. Nonetheless, I spent the next two days worried that I wasn’t prepared for this eventuality. (Yes, I know there’s something wrong with me.) After perusing many of the suggestions on the original thread on Marginal Revolution as well as the side thread on kottke.org, I realized the only way to deal with this was to put this collective intelligence to music.

This song was kind of accidental. I have several others in the works, but this just sort of popped up on the piano as we were about to leave the house. I jotted it down quickly (correct… I’m unable to memorize 4 chords) and I kept obsessing about this thread so the only logical conclusion was to put the music and topic together.

I did my best to capture as many of the best comments as possible but 3:26 isn’t a huge canvas. I’m particularly sad that I never figured out a way to mention how bad the people must have smelled, or my plan to get rich selling soap.

1000 A.D.

Lyrics

This song is about a love rectangle. The singer is in love with Betty, she’s in love with a boy who treats her like crap. He is in love with Betty’s rich best friend who treats both him and Betty like crap. Everyone’s pretty much miserable except possibly for the best friend who’s oblivious to people’s feelings.

I had this little chord progression kicking around for awhile, but frankly, you need to be pretty on the ball to change keys between the verse and the chorus in a fluid way. I wouldn’t characterize myself as on the ball, but with some effort my key changing chord progression now mostly conforms to basic pop song parameters. Also, all the parts that rock are thanks to Chris on the bass and guitar. Especially the guitar solo which I adore.

Betty [lyrics]

Written back at the turn of the millennium (oh the good old days) this song is about our old friend Victor. He’s an ethnic Chinese, Australian born doctor who abandoned medicine (and Sydney) to embrace the “structured” world of computer programming and the United States. Once you understand the laws that govern Victor’s existence you can compile him quite reliably.

I like to think of this arrangement of the song as if it was being performed on a Prairie Home Companion. I can just imagine fantasize about the Garrison Keillor introduction and performing it live somewhere in Minnesota. Of course, not only would we need bassoon and banjo players, but we’d need someone on the didgeridoo (for that “authentic” Australian goodness). And as an extra bonus, my talented sister Avital is singing backup on this track. Cool!

Victor’s a Dictionary [LYRICS]

Since I recently restarted writing and recording music I’ve written several new songs. However, there are a handful of older ones that I think deserve to be re-recorded, updated, and posted. (There are also many that need to be forgotten.) This song was written in the fall of 2001. I always imagine that everyone has a place, somewhere in their mind, where they can go to be alone. Sort of a private island where they can meditate. That’s what this song is about.

Special thanks to Chris who recorded the bass for this track way back in 2001 - and his bass line still rocks!

Private Island [LYRICS]

On a recent flight home from vacation we encountered a super annoyed stewardess. I don’t know that my asking her for the entire can of seltzer was the tipping point, but it certainly was the point at which I became the object of her naked hostility. Clearly there was something going on with her. I don’t know if it was alcohol, job dissatisfaction, or just a bad day. But to me she seemed “on the edge”. She had a bit of the “crazy eyes” if you know what I mean. (I’ll stop putting things in quotes now.) I should point out that this story may be entirely made up as well. (That last point was inserted by the Sugar Fix legal department.) Hope you like.

Terry (the Probably Drunk and Definitely Angry Stewardess) [LYRICS]

Here’s another song for the the legions of Sugar Fix fans (the FaceBook fan count is now up to 10 — take that Beatles). If you don’t know what “Rule 34″ is, just pull out your trusty Urban Dictionary and look it up. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Got it? Good. Unfortunately, that’s not quite enough information to understand the song, as the song is about my favorite example of Rule 34, the illicit love between dragons and cars. I’m not sure that I need to point out that though I find it endlessly entertaining, it’s not a personally exciting scenario (not that there’s anything wrong with that — well, maybe there is). While the song is quite SFW there are some drawings of the non-SFW variety that will explain this phenomenon in more, ahem, detail. I really encourage you not to look at the drawings as you will never know blissful ignorance again — there’s no going back after looking. But if you must, here’s the link.

(On a side note, I do wonder how dragons “loving” cars can truly be considered NSFW given that dragons don’t exist, and even if they did I doubt they’d be attracted to cars. But that’s an entirely separate topic I suppose.)

At the very least, I think I can safely say that this is the first, only, and almost certainly last song you’ll ever hear on this topic.

Rule 34 [LYRICS]

I love most of the HBO shows. Curb Your Enthusiasm especially. But we also watch Big Love the show about the non-Mormon modern day polygamists living in Utah. It’s so stressful. This song explores the practical considerations when polygamy gets out of control. Two wives? Why stop there? Why not multiple husbands? etc. It starts out with multiple spouses being a convenience, but things get confusing after awhile. You get the idea.

I played and sang most things on this track except for the acoustic guitar which was excellently provided by Chris. Thank you Chris! Also, this was my first end-to-end song done with the new Mac gear. Things will go more smoothly down the road (I hope).

Let’s Sneak Off [LYRICS]