Written back at the turn of the millennium (oh the good old days) this song is about our old friend Victor. He’s an ethnic Chinese, Australian born doctor who abandoned medicine (and Sydney) to embrace the “structured” world of computer programming and the United States. Once you understand the laws that govern Victor’s existence you can compile him quite reliably.

I like to think of this arrangement of the song as if it was being performed on a Prairie Home Companion. I can just imagine fantasize about the Garrison Keillor introduction and performing it live somewhere in Minnesota. Of course, not only would we need bassoon and banjo players, but we’d need someone on the didgeridoo (for that “authentic” Australian goodness). And as an extra bonus, my talented sister Avital is singing backup on this track. Cool!

Victor’s a Dictionary [LYRICS]

Since I recently restarted writing and recording music I’ve written several new songs. However, there are a handful of older ones that I think deserve to be re-recorded, updated, and posted. (There are also many that need to be forgotten.) This song was written in the fall of 2001. I always imagine that everyone has a place, somewhere in their mind, where they can go to be alone. Sort of a private island where they can meditate. That’s what this song is about.

Special thanks to Chris who recorded the bass for this track way back in 2001 – and his bass line still rocks!

Private Island [LYRICS]

On a recent flight home from vacation we encountered a super annoyed stewardess. I don’t know that my asking her for the entire can of seltzer was the tipping point, but it certainly was the point at which I became the object of her naked hostility. Clearly there was something going on with her. I don’t know if it was alcohol, job dissatisfaction, or just a bad day. But to me she seemed “on the edge”. She had a bit of the “crazy eyes” if you know what I mean. (I’ll stop putting things in quotes now.) I should point out that this story may be entirely made up as well. (That last point was inserted by the Sugar Fix legal department.) Hope you like.

Terry (the Probably Drunk and Definitely Angry Stewardess) [LYRICS]

Here’s another song for the the legions of Sugar Fix fans (the FaceBook fan count is now up to 10 — take that Beatles). If you don’t know what “Rule 34″ is, just pull out your trusty Urban Dictionary and look it up. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Got it? Good. Unfortunately, that’s not quite enough information to understand the song, as the song is about my favorite example of Rule 34, the illicit love between dragons and cars. I’m not sure that I need to point out that though I find it endlessly entertaining, it’s not a personally exciting scenario (not that there’s anything wrong with that — well, maybe there is). While the song is quite SFW there are some drawings of the non-SFW variety that will explain this phenomenon in more, ahem, detail. I really encourage you not to look at the drawings as you will never know blissful ignorance again — there’s no going back after looking. But if you must, here’s the link.

(On a side note, I do wonder how dragons “loving” cars can truly be considered NSFW given that dragons don’t exist, and even if they did I doubt they’d be attracted to cars. But that’s an entirely separate topic I suppose.)

At the very least, I think I can safely say that this is the first, only, and almost certainly last song you’ll ever hear on this topic.

Rule 34 [LYRICS]

I love most of the HBO shows. Curb Your Enthusiasm especially. But we also watch Big Love the show about the non-Mormon modern day polygamists living in Utah. It’s so stressful. This song explores the practical considerations when polygamy gets out of control. Two wives? Why stop there? Why not multiple husbands? etc. It starts out with multiple spouses being a convenience, but things get confusing after awhile. You get the idea.

I played and sang most things on this track except for the acoustic guitar which was excellently provided by Chris. Thank you Chris! Also, this was my first end-to-end song done with the new Mac gear. Things will go more smoothly down the road (I hope).

Let’s Sneak Off [LYRICS]