Well, the last couple of days have certainly been exciting. Needless to say, we’re getting slightly more attention than normal for the latest track – 1000 A.D. – courtesy of kottke.org, Marginal Revolution, and MetaFilter as well as many other cool blogs. Thanks to everyone who posted, commented, listened, etc.

I thought now might be a good time to introduce some of the new inductees into the Sugar Fix Fan Ecosystem (it’s small, but I’ve decided it’s an ecosystem nonetheless) to some of the other tracks that haven’t gotten as much press:

• Betty — If you’ve ever felt any affinity for the girl that doesn’t end up with the guy, or if you just enjoy Archie comics.
• Victor’s a Dictionary — About our old Australasian friend Victor. It’s even got some didgeridoo.
• Terry, the Probably Drunk and Definitely Angry Stewardess — Inappropriate stewardess rage. Everyone’s experienced this.
• Let’s Sneak Off — Polygamy gone awry.
• Rule 34 — If you like songs based on blog posts then this one is a doozy.
• Private Island — Some rare introspection. And it swings!

Thanks to everyone who’s written about, or visited the site. Hope to have more new music soon.

Recently I lost an hour reading a comment thread that started as follows:

“I wanted to ask for survival tips in case I am unexpectedly transported to a random location in Europe (say for instance current France/Benelux/Germany) in the year 1000 AD (plus or minus 200 years). I assume that such transportation would leave me with what I am wearing, what I know, and nothing else. Any advice would help.”

The suggestions ranged from funny to serious, and ludicrous to ludicrouser. Nonetheless, I spent the next two days worried that I wasn’t prepared for this eventuality. (Yes, I know there’s something wrong with me.) After perusing many of the suggestions on the original thread on Marginal Revolution as well as the side thread on kottke.org, I realized the only way to deal with this was to put this collective intelligence to music.

This song was kind of accidental. I have several others in the works, but this just sort of popped up on the piano as we were about to leave the house. I jotted it down quickly (correct… I’m unable to memorize 4 chords) and I kept obsessing about this thread so the only logical conclusion was to put the music and topic together.

I did my best to capture as many of the best comments as possible but 3:26 isn’t a huge canvas. I’m particularly sad that I never figured out a way to mention how bad the people must have smelled, or my plan to get rich selling soap.

1000 A.D.

Lyrics

I’ve gotten a couple of requests for the lyrics to some of my songs. So here’s the first set, for the latest track — 1000 A.D.

VERSE

Where the hell am I
And what’s this bump on my head
I’m sure not in Kansas
Could it be that I’m dead

It’s my standard nightmare
Of sudden time travel
Back a thousand years in Europe
I’m gonna unravel

Gotta calm down
I’ll be fine
I’ve got skills
I’ll use my mind

VERSE

I can read and write
And almost no one else can
Two years of high school Latin
Now I need a plan

I’ll sell boiled water
Better yet I’ll boil some wine
I’ll make a mint selling brandy
They’re all drunk all the time

Gotta calm down
I’ll be fine
I’ve got skills
I’ll use my mind

CHORUS

But it’s harder than I thought
These people aren’t so dumb
And they don’t understand a thing I say

Before I get rich
and discover electricity
I’ve gotta find some food and a place to stay

VERSE

I can do math
Right here in my head
I’m like a walking computer
They’ll hire me instead

Of making me a slave
If I could help them with their war
I’d invent the Haber process
Give them guns and bombs and more

Gotta calm down
I’ll be fine
I’ve got skills
I’ll use my mind

CHORUS

But it’s harder than I thought
These people aren’t so dumb
And they don’t understand a thing I say

Before I build my castle
and invent indoor plumbing
I’ve gotta find some food and a place to stay

VERSE

I’ll reenact every movie
in the form of a play
Luke will be Jesus
Leia’s Mary Magdalene

Every song by the Beatles
I’ll re-sing as my own
I will get satisfaction
Cause it’s mine and not the Stones

Gotta calm down
I’ll be fine
I’ve got skills
I’ll use my mind

CHORUS

But it’s harder than I thought
These people aren’t so dumb
And they don’t understand a thing I say

Before I change history
and discover America
I’ve gotta find some food and a place to stay
I’m starting to get thin and waste away
I’m sure I’ll find some food and a place to stay

Haven’t posted a new song in a bit. I am working on several at once but things are a little slower going since work started up again. I have one track done except for the string quartet. I am not shitting you — a string quartet. What kind of a pretentious jerk thinks he can put a string quartet in his song? This kind!

Don’t judge me too harshly. There are at least 3 others in the works as well (songs, not pretentious jerks), including my first cover. Scary! I’ll keep plugging away and post when I have something listenable.

After a few short months of plugging away at this music on the internet thing, we’ve gotten just a tiny bit of attention (but it’s attention nonetheless).

The posters over at the Facepunch Studios forum enjoyed Rule 34.

Daniel Pinkwater (one of my favorite commentators on NPR) used Victor’s a Dictionary in his weekly podcast.

These are the lyrics for Betty.

VERSE

There’s something wrong when your best friend hates you
It’s been so long I think she might erase you
You and her, you were like sisters for a time
Now you’re only good for her hand-me-downs

Look in the mirror you say you don’t look pretty
She agrees and I think god that’s shitty
Please don’t think that she is really on your side
Especially when it comes to your love life

CHORUS

How can you still be in love with him
Every time she shows you see your chances dim
He can’t see what I’ve been watching all this time
Let the rich girl have him, and you’ll be mine

VERSE

Step on the scale you think its ten too much
I want to shake you and say what the fuck
Are you thinking, you’re beautiful just the way you are
I know that you don’t see it like I do

You starve yourself for him, and he deserts you
He doesn’t care, all he does is hurt you
Why do you let him walk all over your heart
You’re crying into your ice cream

CHORUS

How can you still be in love with him
Every time she shows you see your chances dim
He can’t see what I’ve been watching all this time
Let the rich girl have him, and you’ll be mine

BRIDGE

Maybe you’ll wake up and stop this sadness
Maybe you’ll finally see me tonight
Maybe you’ll see how all this is madness
Maybe you’ll see I’m right

VERSE

You spill your sorrows she is your confessor
She doesn’t care, your tears they don’t impress her
Your secrets help her break your heart even worse
She is thinking about those shoes she bought

He runs to her even though she hates him
He buys her presents and she berates him
Can’t you see that they aren’t worth your time
You deserve so much better

CHORUS

How can you still be in love with him
Every time she shows you see your chances dim
He can’t see what I’ve been watching all this time
Let the rich girl have him, and you’ll be mine

How can you still be in love with him
Every time she shows you see your chances dim
Even the kid with the crown has found the apple of his eye
But you’re still smiling like you’re happy and we’re wondering why
You’re still chasing after Archie and I wonder why

This song is about a love rectangle. The singer is in love with Betty, she’s in love with a boy who treats her like crap. He is in love with Betty’s rich best friend who treats both him and Betty like crap. Everyone’s pretty much miserable except possibly for the best friend who’s oblivious to people’s feelings.

I had this little chord progression kicking around for awhile, but frankly, you need to be pretty on the ball to change keys between the verse and the chorus in a fluid way. I wouldn’t characterize myself as on the ball, but with some effort my key changing chord progression now mostly conforms to basic pop song parameters. Also, all the parts that rock are thanks to Chris on the bass and guitar. Especially the guitar solo which I adore.

Betty [lyrics]

Written back at the turn of the millennium (oh the good old days) this song is about our old friend Victor. He’s an ethnic Chinese, Australian born doctor who abandoned medicine (and Sydney) to embrace the “structured” world of computer programming and the United States. Once you understand the laws that govern Victor’s existence you can compile him quite reliably.

I like to think of this arrangement of the song as if it was being performed on a Prairie Home Companion. I can just imagine fantasize about the Garrison Keillor introduction and performing it live somewhere in Minnesota. Of course, not only would we need bassoon and banjo players, but we’d need someone on the didgeridoo (for that “authentic” Australian goodness). And as an extra bonus, my talented sister Avital is singing backup on this track. Cool!

Victor’s a Dictionary [LYRICS]

Lyrics for Victor’s a Dictionary.

VERSE

Victor’s a dictionary
Look up any word
He hates to be interrupted
He needs to be heard
My friend, it’s then, you comprehend

CHORUS

He’s living inside an opera
The rules they tell him what’s wrong from right
He’s quick to do a favor for you
Sydney’s Warm tonight

VERSE

Often wish so hard that he had
Brought his prescription pad
My case of advanced glaucoma
Would get real bad
My friend, it’s then, you comprehend

He’s living inside an opera
The rules they tell him what’s wrong from right
He’s quick to do a favor for you
Sydney’s Warm tonight

VERSE

That dish at the Straits Cafe
What was it called
It beat that jelly grass drink
We were appalled
My friend, it’s then, you comprehend

CHORUS

He’s living inside an opera
The rules they tell him what’s wrong from right
He’s quick to do a favor for you
Sydney’s Warm tonight

He’s living inside an opera
The rules they tell him what’s wrong from right
He’s quick to do a favor for you
Sydney’s Warm tonight

This was a fun weekend for music. I think that Ben Folds and Jonathan Coulton are my two favorite musicians and I got to see both perform live this past weekend. Neat.

On Saturday night we went to see Jonathan Coulton perform at the Triple Door. We’d never seen him perform but we expected it to be good. It was better than we imagined. Not only is he a relaxed and confident performer (or makes it seem that way), but his singing is way better than we realized. It’s not that he doesn’t sing well on his recorded music, my impression is that his recordings (while excellent) don’t show off just how good his voice is. It was quite beautiful. I was worried about the show because I usually don’t like seeing performers play alone when their recorded music has a suite of instruments. Coulton had a couple of folks singing backup and adding percussion (and ukelele played by an adorable teenage budding YouTube star — I think she travelled to the show with her Dad) but it was still primarily a solo affair. And again I was surprised. He clearly thinks a lot about his performances and had tuned his songs appropriately. His slow and sweet version of Code Monkey was really beautiful. He also had a couple of fun toys to perform with. One was a Zen Drum which let him play samples (some looping, some not) and improvise some live DJing of Mr. Fancy Pants (note: in Seattle he was even better on the device than he was in SF). Very cool. He also had a small white rectangular device “with lights” that appeared to be some sort of sequencer or MIDI controller (please let me know in the comments if you know what the hell that thing was thanks GOOG – it’s a Yamaha TENORI-ON). But I’m not entirely sure. If I ever end up performing, clearly I will need to get one of these things (I think I want the TENORI more than the Zendrum, but it’s $1300 – damn sam). I can’t defend the decision, I can only tell you it’s already been made.

On Sunday night we went to the Ben Folds concert. (Thanks for driving Chris.) I’d seen him perform maybe 7 or 8 times over the past decade. And while Ben Folds puts on a great performance solo, it’s my preference for him playing with other musicians that made me nervous about Coulton performing essentially alone. Luckily, Folds had a bassist and drummer with him who matched his energy and attitude. (There was also a weird dude who would show up periodically and dramatically play a tambourine as well as an odd synth solo from Moby — yes Moby.) Odd moments aside, Folds was fantastic. He puts so much incredible energy into his shows — they border on violent. It’s like punk showtunes. He also debuted several new songs from his upcoming September release. They sounded great. I’m excited. There was also one moment where he spent five minutes explaining music theory to the audience. I imagine that most of the college kids understood very little of it. I did ok given my paltry understanding of music theory, but he was a pretty good teacher and I was able to follow most. It didn’t matter though. The crowd cheered no matter what. They just love him. It didn’t matter what the hell he was talking about. They would have cheered if he’d read out the obituaries. It was especially fun/amusing when he demonstrated his music theory lesson during the first several measures of his cover of Bitches Ain’t Shit modulating the chords to be more “bad lounge jazz” (as he said).

All in all, a very fun weekend.